Ladies do Yourself a Favor and Get a DOG

I am about to begin my final year of graduate school and would like to share a lesson to all the ladies out there. Many years ago, someone once told me that "the chase was better than the kill." I didn't know what that meant until I got myself a DOG.

I got a male dog and he would leave the yard, run wild in the woods and parade through the neighborhood like he owned it.

Every time he would leave the yard, I was compelled to chase him. You see

I was afraid.  What if he ran into the streets and got hit by a car?  What if he got attacked by a porcupine?  What if he didn't come back?

I was worried about him being put in dangers wake and yet

he was living the dream for he had the best of both worlds.

He was able to run free, have a home to return to and most importantly

he had the comfort in knowing that I cared enough to chase him.

Then one day I got annoyed and I stopped chasing the little bastard.

When I stopped chasing him and amazing thing happened.

He stopped running and came back.

In fact he would watch me turn by back on him

then he would come a running.

Chasing is a fools pursuit.

When my dog runs, I no longer chase him,

He is trained to be loyal and loving.

If he runs don't chase him.

Stand your ground, turn away, ignoring him.

Head held high and proud.

Be

Loyal 

to 

Yourself 

and

he'll come

running to

Y O U

The Glass Ceiling

Healing under Water

 Can you feel the healing or are you drowning in fear?

I just want to sit with you for hours 

and hours

Without a spoken word.

 For just a moment let us be still.

Tearing down walls so that we can rebuild. 

I want to cross your borders, 

I want to take my time.

You look deep into my eyes

 and rip my heart open wide.
 Can you hear me calling?

Screaming underwater

Healing underwater

 Can you feel the healing or are you drowning in fear?

You take me to your deepest corner 

and let me see what you're trying to hide. 

You come closer, trying to kick down the walls. 

Inch by inch. 

Hands are shaking

 and hearts are aching. 

Bodies tense up. 

Retreat. 

I've escaped.

Healing the broken

 Can you hear me calling?

Screaming underwater

Healing underwater

Longing for SALT

TESTED

Phoenix Rising

Mother's empower your daughters.  Empower them with a strong sense of self.  Teach them how to walk outside in the forests and not get lost. Help them read the landscape, to identify where they are in the context of the realm of the great outdoors; where every tree-top looks the same, teach them how to pinpoint their exact location by connecting with their own awareness. To gain perspective.

Teach them to observe. To use all their senses. To describe the rocks on the forest floor, markings on trees, plants, flowers, walls, the smells, to feel the roots of the Earth rise and dip 'neath the soles of the feet as they are guided down a path. Teach them to open their senses, beyond what merely the eyes can see. Teach them to look at the shadows, a squirrel, to listen for the sounds of the rushing river. They must learn how to trust their gut, their heart, their intuition. To believe.

Mothers teach your daughters to embrace the great-unknown, in the force that cannot be seen by the naked eye but felt by the rhythms within the heart. Deep inside the veins, a heart that palpitates quickly.  A message?  A warning to flee or a chance to rise? They must learn how to be confident and trust the way their blood courses through their veins from their very core down to their toes and then back up as it rises to their crown.

It emerges as fire, tingling their skin, burning.  The more the sensation is denied, ignored, suppressed, the more brightly the fire within them burns. Will it combust internally and be self consuming or become a beacon of hope, light with fire burning so bright that no fire hydrant can extinguish for its source is eternal love.

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes the confident woman will grow. She'll emerge and spread her wings to face life with a profound sense of certainty and trust.  She'll learn to trust herself, her accomplishments and her truth with humility. The knowledge gained will not perish along with her but will rise again in the very same flames that gave her life.  So much of our time on Earth is dedicated to cultivating the mind that all too often the heart goes on...beating, underdeveloped, undervalued.

A blip on the screen, measured by electromagnetic impulses, a beat. Nothing to measure how much it has given, how much it can hold or how broken it is. Now is time to shine light upon that which cannot be ignored, that which cannot lie to us, it is time to develop the heart. To trust it.  It is time to let go of the logical equations of the rational mind and live accordingly to the way the heart.

Let go of the old ways like launching a bunch of helium balloons in flight.  Light and free...gone forever, in the blink of an eye.  All we have is here and now.  A short time, here on Earth. A time for trust.love.bonds. Connections to help one-another get through the drudgery and victories of life without judgement and with love and respect.

Honest and true to ourselves and each other.  Mothers raise your girls to trust in themselves.  To depend on themselves.  To have a sense of value that is not based on any other. To know they are capable of not only surviving independently but thriving and having abundance. It takes a strong and vibrant community to build a sustainable future.  It takes a village to raise a child and as individuals we have our strengths and deficiencies.  Yet when connected together as a community we become whole again, complete.

A phoenix rises and falls by the way of the ashes just as the sea rises and falls with the ebbs and flows of the tide.  So is fleeting self esteem of our girls. Mothers stop tearing one another down and begin to build up your daughters. Our communities are built on the goodness of our women and will flourish sustainably when we stop tearing one another down.  Build support by means of self-reliance and courage will echo in the breeze "all because of a mother's love."

Cape Cod Cookie Crushers Van 1 Storms P-town

So on May 12th I did something totally crazy. I joined a team of 11-strangers who were devoted to running 200 miles for charity.  I decided on joining this team because they were from NY and had a really cool name. Then I invited five strangers, all of whom were part of van 1, to come and stay at my house that night.

At 3:00 a.m. the next day, Friday the 13th.   I hopped into a big, white, 12-passenger van with said strangers and drove 1.5 hours to Hull where our epic journey of running 200-miles together began. we spoke on the phone before hand and I knew, with a a few prayers, that this crew would not murder me in my sleep.  I had the added comfort of knowing if they did, that my two dogs would chew them apart, if they did.

There is no way to explain Ragnar and the bonds it creates.  I will leave it to my 5-new comrades in arms to try to put to words the kinship that's formed by running 30+ hours throughout the day and night, rain and sun, only to cross the finish line triumphantly, together, as a team.

When you run a Ragnar relay, you become more than just a single individual runner. You become part of something much greater than yourself.  You need to help the driver navigate, you need to help the navigator-navigate, you need to offer your teammates support whether it be in the form of a wet-wipe, beef jerky, a high-5, a cup of soup or a pillow to lie their tired head. For those 24-36 hours you become part of a community, something bigger than yourself.  You become part of a team that is trying to conquer their demons for 200-miles all in the name of charity.  

We all laughed together whether it was because Alicia couldn't find the gas cap to the van, Vince had a hard 3rd leg, Brian sent random cryptic text messages with 1 mile-to-go, I ate gravel and broke my new iphone, or #ohshit Kelsey was delirious in the middle of the night and thought Saturday felt like---being on MARS or possibly because Randi thought it was a good time to #speakwhale.

There was so much laughter in our van it was uncanny. When someone started to get punchy someone else would lighten up the situation, when someone wanted to drive into a parking lot---we made sure they knew that what they thought was a parking lot was in fact...a lake.  #truestory When Dunkin' Donuts was out of a certain food that was being craved before leg 3 we found a local hot spot to fill the notion.  Out team was awesome group of coffee loving, cookie eating, amaze-balls. #6strangersinavan

We all came from different backgrounds and drew from our strengths.  Only a Ragnar Relay could draw together such a diverse group of extremely rugged endurance athletes from such a variety of professional backgrounds. I am so glad to say that Van 1 remains in contact weekly and we are still laughing together.  Plans are in the works to have a racing reunion soon and to get another Ragnar in the books.

We've seen each other under incredible pressure and we helped each other succeed.  We've seen one another in hardship. tireless battles, drawing from the strength within, to pure-silliness, to perseverance, god-awful-sweat, and true grit. It was raw and a real struggle at times.  I almost got left behind in the port-a-loo #Where'sDiana? but we all kept our heads and when the end came near and our faith was tested---Vince saved us with beer, tie-died cookies, and huge magnets #itsthesimplethings.

There were many memories made, one-liners that only van 1 will ever understand, and bonds made that will hopefully last a life time. #doyouspeakwhale #wheresthegastank #draftbyguy #ohshitialmostcrushedmymuffins #3rdlegisthehardest #itfeelslikemars #ichallengeyou #smellmysneaker #copsonbikes #cookies #whatcolorisyourpee #magnetcleptos

I look forward to our racing reunion and to creating more Cookie Crushing memories with this amazing crew of Ragnarians.