It's Despicable this Yankee Swap...said the Non-New Englandah!

It's that time of year again for the infamous tradition of the Yankee Swap.  This time honored tradition is either loved or despised and quite frankly I love it!  For those of you who have recently decided to make New England your home be prepared to recieve an invitation to engage in the finest type of holidays swap you'll  find this side of the Mississippi. This swap is bound to be full of mayhem and foolishness, for this my friend, is no Secret Santa.   Recently I have heard many people debating the likability of this tradition.  Of course most of the people I've heard complain are transplants.  Other wise known as Non-Native New Englandah's who are simply perplexed , disappointed and overwhelmed by the entire wacky experience of having their feelings hurt.  For those of you unfamiliar with the tradition let me explain.


First of all there is a dollar limit placed on the swap.  In a Yankee Swap each person participating brings a wrapped, unmarked gift and places it in a designated spot.  Then numbers are made up (1 for each package brought) and the numbers are then drawn from a hat but there is a twist.  The person who picks the #1 goes first and selects whatever gift he/she wants and yes, people are allowed to touch, life and shake packages.  The person who picks the #2 goes next and picks a gift.  Then he/she can chose to keep their gift or take the gift from person #1.  This goes on and on until the last person gets their gift.  The higher your number the more selections of gifts you have to steal from people.  You get to steal from your co-workers, friends or family.  Now here's the real kicker.  The person who had the #1 gets to choose again & pick the final gift.  He/she can choose to steal from anyone he/she chooses. The ultimate thief.  Whahaaaa (evil laugh)


So what's the harm?  Non-Native New Englandah's, unfamiliar with this time honored tradition usually spend way too much thought and money in choosing their gifts while us natives usually go for the worst or funniest gifts ever.  They also open up their gift and are not aware that someone is going to take it away from them.  You can always tell the gifts that are bought by the Non-Native New Englandah's.  They will put something classy together; like a wine basket complete with glasses and maybe some cheese & crackers while the Native will gift a Chia-Obama or better yet an Office Voodoo Doll kit.  Most people use the swap as a way to re-gift the worst gift the received last Christmas.  During the swap there is usually tons of laughter to see the totally ridiculous gifts that people give and perhaps even more hilarious is seeing who gets stuck with what gift. 

I remember at one Yankee Swap, this lady in our office brought a in pair of Vintage Americana Snowmen.  Yup that's right, complete with a blue & white starry vest & red, white and blue top hat.  They were something one would find in a village primitives shop and pay top dollar for.  Everyone in the office was laughing at these ridiculous snowmen, not realizing that she had spent hours making them by hand.  Everyone was dying to see who would end up with this pair of snowman.  It was the most Gothic Girl in our office!  Once everyone found out they were handmade we all felt bad...for about a minute but all in all it was so frickin' funny.  Everyone was in stitches.

Personally, I love Yankee Swaps and find them very entertaining.  For all you Non-Natives who find this tradition dispciable I recommend that you stop trying so damn hard to pick the perfect gift for your office holiday party.  Yankee Swaps are a time for cheer and if you're feelings are hurt I say it's time to simply lighten up.  Go buy the Clapper, Chia-Pet or some other random quirky gift and let the laughter begin!  Oh and PS-Welcome to New England~